Yer an orthodontist, Harry.
Actually … Harry Potter is an orthodontist's assistant. Voldemort is the orthodontist.
The two joined forces to treat muggles -- sorry, patients -- this week at Mateer Orthodontics in New York, where the office was transformed into the wizarding world for Halloween.
Scott Mateer wore a full Voldemort costume on Wednesday and Friday while he used his magical powers of constructing perfect smiles by straightening teeth.
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"People have loved it," Mateer said. "People have laughed and said it's semi-terrifying. We've had tons of people stopping by without appointments just to kind of hang out and see the costumes and the office."
With a custom-made mask where the nose has been replaced by snake-like slit nostrils, a dark robe fully blanketing his tall frame, a five-foot snake named Nagini wrapped around his neck, and a wand in hand whenever he had a moment to put down his orthodontic instruments, Mateer looked as if he became the identical form of the villainous character after taking a sip of Polyjuice Potion.
"I figured I had to be either Voldemort or Dumbledore," Mateer said. "I felt like I had to go with the more evil of the two.”
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Portraying the character called "He-who-must-not-be-named" means also becoming "He-who-must-not-be-comfortable."
"It's hot and the sound reverberates back in my ear in there," Mateer said of wearing the deceptively heavy Voldemort mask for a pair of eight-hour business days. "But it's kind of become a thing where I am basically going to wear something uncomfortable every Halloween."
From the Upside Down to Hogwarts
Last year for Halloween the Commack, Long Island office had an elaborate "Stranger Things" theme. Mateer dressed as the character Vecna, and each room in the office was recreated into a different set from the hit Netflix series.
And the office’s immersive orthodontal experiences -- which morphed from the staff simply wearing costumes to the entire office being transformed -- are no longer limited to Halloween.
Mateer has also dressed as the Grinch for Christmas, Cupid for Valentine’s Day and the Easter Bunny for Easter. He recently wore a colorful jumpsuit of yesteryear during Back to the 80s Night, an office celebration that included mixed cocktails, a charcuterie table and professional back massages.
“It’s just a matter of trying to change the experience for everyone,” Mateer said. “Orthodontics or any business really, we provide a service, and that’s great. But I feel like there should be more to it than that.
“I really, genuinely care about people coming here and feeling comfortable, being happy. Nothing makes me happier than hearing parents say my child actually enjoys coming here, wants to come to the dentist, which I think typically is not what it’s about. That combined with the fact that I’m just a big kid, honestly.”
A big kid who turned his office into Hogsmeade, a transformation that wasn't exactly achieved with the simple flick of a wand or the casting of a spell. A Marauder's Map would have been helpful while navigating from Gringott's Wizarding Bank (the front desk) to a seat on the Hogwarts Express (the dental chair).
Along the way, patients may have run into a staff member dressed as Voldemort, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Bellatrixx Lestrange, Professor McGonagall, Severus Snape, Dolores Umbridge, Draco Malfoy or Dumbledore.
“We start planning in the end of July, beginning of August,” said Kristy Roocke, the office’s treatment coordinator who dressed as Hermione. “A few days before, we're here all day every day just grinding it out.”
Working magic in the wizarding world
The staff made an appointment at the orthodontist feel more like a day at Hogwarts for those who have braces or the Cloak of Invisalign-ability.
"They thought we were just going to put little things here and there," said Tatiana Espino, the front desk secretary dressed as Dumbledore. "But when they realize the whole office is transformed, they freak out."
A lifesize statue of Dobby holding a sock greeted guests as they entered the waiting room, which also featured flying envelopes and the door to the cupboard under the stairs (also known as Harry’s tiny bedroom). Flickering candles were suspended in air -- as was a flying car driven by Harry and Ron Weasley -- and the banners for all four Hogwarts houses were displayed over the “Great Hall” windows.
Stacks of gold bars and coins and pictures of goblins turned the front desk into Gringotts. One hallway became Honeydukes sweet shop, featuring rainbow lollypops, candy necklaces, cotton candy and other colorful treats that were for display purposes because they obviously wouldn’t be recommended by four out of five dentists.
Spiders crawled around a mirror that had a message written on it in blood-like red paint: “The Chamber of Secrets has been opened.”
A photo wall included a moving portrait operated by a hanging iPad.
Ornamental plates were displayed on the wall and pink lighting shined from the chandelier in the dental room that became Dolores Umbridge’s office.
Diagon Alley featured places like Ollivanders wand shop, with storefront windows tacked to the wall that the staff created out of oak tag, poster board, wooden dolly pegs and cellophane wrap.
Two brick wall entrances opened to Platform 9 3/4, with each chair in the room where Mateer treats his patients becoming a seat on the Hogwarts Express. That was where the magic happened -- or on this day, the dark arts, with dementors hovering and Voldemort lurking.
“I loved Voldemort. He was the best orthodontist ever,” said 11-year old patient Krystian Kuchar. “And I did not think that he would be my orthodontist today ... I was very surprised and I'm like, 'What?!'"
Some patients were slightly nervous.
“I don’t feel like dying,” joked 13-year-old patient Ethan Newman after seeing his orthodontist dressed as a character known to use the unforgivable killing curse that is “Avada Kedavra.”
Mateer, however, does not have Voldemort’s evil heart … or his crooked, stubby, yellow teeth. Hey, the real Dark Lord didn't exactly have time to brush, floss and make orthodontist appointments while he was trying to take over the wizarding world.
So, how would Mateer and his staff work their magic to give Voldemort the perfect smile?
“I don’t know if we can fix that smile,” Mateer said with a laugh. ”We'd give it a shot, though. Voldemort, if you’re out there, come on in and we'll take care of you.”
