You might need more than a balanced diet and exercise to live a long, happy life. A healthy dose of friendship could be the missing link, according to bestselling author and leadership expert Simon Sinek.
"The thing that I'm sort of obsessing about right now is friendship," Sinek said at the 2024 Brilliant Minds convention, adding: "If you think about all the mental health challenges that so many of us are facing today — whether it's coping with stress, depression, anxiety, addiction, even obsession with longevity — friendship is the ultimate biohack that ... fixes all those things."
Most people can easily find advice on leadership, parenting, eating healthily, exercising well and sleeping better. Fewer resources exist for learning how to be a better friend, Sinek said.
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But research does back up the importance of friendship — maintaining a series of close, positive relationships over time — in our lives. The Harvard Study on Adult Development, an ongoing study that's gathered data on human happiness since 1938, has identified links between friendship and happiness, health and longevity, according to Marc Schulz and Robert Waldinger, who currently lead the study.
"The most consistent finding we've learned through 85 years of study is: Positive relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer. Period," Waldinger and Schulz wrote for CNBC Make It in 2023.
Centenarians themselves tend to agree. "Close relationships are very important," said Shirley Hodes, who was 106 when she spoke with CNBC Make It in 2023. "They keep you going."
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"Without your friends, I mean, where are you?" Madeline Paldo, who was 100 at the time, told CNBC Make It in 2023. She met up with her friends at a Dunkin' Donuts every Sunday, she said.
The key to maintaining friendships over time is largely the effort you put into them, Sinek said. "Have you sacrificed that meeting to hang out with a friend? Do you call your friends on the birthday and sing them happy birthday? Have you ever said to your friend, 'I love you?' Not, 'Love ya!' Not, 'Love you,'" he asked.
As for building positive relationships in the first place, try making a concentrated effort to share small moments of friendliness with the people around you, psychologist and author Mary E. Anderson wrote for CNBC Make It last year.
Greet your colleagues in the morning with a smile, tell a stranger you think their dog is cute, use the phrase "You got this!" and volunteer to help other people when you can, Anderson recommended.
"These instances of warmth can foster a stronger sense of belonging," she wrote, adding: "Play to your strengths. Put your talents, unique skills, and expertise to work to help others. Just make sure you're being mindful of your limited time and energy, so you don't burn out in the process."
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