Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, host of the Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic Podcast shares advice on broaching the subject this holiday season.
As the holiday season rolls around, one of the most debated parenting topics resurfaces: Should parents tell their kids that Santa isn’t real? Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, a clinical psychologist and creator of the "Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic" podcast, sheds light on this hot topic in an interview with NBC.
When kids discover the truth
"The average age that kids discover that Santa isn't real is around age 8,” Dr. Kennedy-Moore explains. While the revelation may bring some mild disappointment, it’s often balanced by a sense of pride as kids feel they’ve joined the “in-the-know” crowd. Contrary to popular concern, research shows that discovering the truth about Santa doesn’t significantly damage children emotionally — or their trust in their parents.
In fact, many kids harbor doubts long before the truth is confirmed, sneaking around or piecing together clues like Mom and Dad using the same wrapping paper as Santa. Dr. Kennedy-Moore recounts a lovely response from her own mother: “Santa isn’t real, but the spirit of Christmas and the spirit of generosity is very real.”
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Addressing tough questions
What should parents do when younger children start asking questions about Santa? Dr. Kennedy-Moore suggests turning the question back to them: “Well, what do you think? And follow the child's lead.” This approach helps them answer their own questions.
For children under 8, it’s okay to let them hold onto the magic a little longer. “There’s no harm in this,” she says. However, for older kids who are still fervent believers, parents might want to step in, as delayed discoveries tend to cause stronger feelings of sadness.
The Santa talk in a diverse world
Not all families engage in the Santa tradition for cultural or personal reasons, which can lead to tricky situations in schools or social settings. Dr. Kennedy-Moore advises parents to teach their kids to respect others’ beliefs. For many families and children, Santa is very important, “so don’t step on their parade,” she says.
The ripple effect: Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny & beyond
Santa often serves as the linchpin for belief in other childhood figures like the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny. Once Santa is debunked, a domino effect tends to follow — but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
"Ultimately, we want for our children to be able to be critical thinkers who say, 'that doesn't make a lot of sense,'” says Dr. Kennedy-Moore. "I think that this is normal development."
Keeping the spirit alive
While the magic of Santa may fade, the values of generosity and kindness endure. Dr. Kennedy-Moore encourages parents to focus on these lasting lessons, reminding children — and themselves — that the true spirit of Christmas transcends any one story.
So, whether you decide to keep the Santa myth alive or embrace honesty from the start, the research is clear: Kids are resilient, and the holidays remain a time for joy, connection and giving.
